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“Nobody Works at a MAANG Over 60…”
Read this in a women in tech group (sigh). So here we go: MAANG Headquarters HR: “Thank you for coming to your 60th year checkin. Thank you for being an employee for, what is it, 10 years! That’s amazing. We’re now going to give you your package…” Employee: “Oh, is that a present? How sweet!…
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Stages of Unemployment Grief
Week 1: Euphoria tinged with panic. (Free! And, how am I going to live in this expensive city with a kid and no income?) Week 2: Face reality. (Cancel all the things. File for unemployment. Figure out medical insurance.) Week 3: Disbelief (WTH is going on, has been taking a while, usually I have a…
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To Viper, or not To Viper
A few years ago, we had a lead engineer who introduced us to VIPER, an architecture for iOS. Willing to give it a try, we ended up using it for 10 of our most active features. This is a story of how VIPER came into our codebase, and how it eventually morphed, and left. Hopefully,…
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Letter To My Career Coach
Dear career coach, I did your exercise: “Decide what kind of things I must have,” and I’ve listed below what I want: A job. It took me about a half hour to figure that out. Whew! Then, I wrote an answer to your other question: “What kind of things I’d like to have”: An income…
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My interviewer
I had some issues hearing my interviewer yesterday. Imagine a huge curtain of beautiful hair (sorry mine does not suffice!)
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Help My Husband Get A Job!
In all women tech communities, there’s always one person who thinks it’s appropriate to advertise for their husband… Two women on the list backchannel DM: One of them composes a reply. Original poster responds: Backchannel DM response to OP’s response: The husband responds:
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I’ve scheduled a call with your scheduler
Susanna: Hi, I’m amazed at your background, would you like to interview at Famous Amazing Company? Let’s schedule a call. Just 30 minutes. I’ll forward you to a scheduler Deirdre: I’m Susanna’s scheduler, can you send me your availabilities? 2 days later Deirdre: I’ve setup a call for you at 10 AM Thursday. Me: I’m…
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My Life As Interpreted By 1980s Soap Operas
Our kitchen wall phone rings, I pick it up and a single teardrop falls down my face. Putting on a brave expression, I crouch down next to an adorable, if overly pretty child and tell him that “Mommy lost her job.”. I walk my son out the lightweight plywood door with a ripped paper bag,…
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The Serious Side of DEI Satire
I wrote a satirical piece on a really bad Diversity Chief hire. Let me highlight what she *should* have done. Including 10 must-haves for diverse engineering teams. 1. DEI executives don’t make sense and cannot be effective if the leadership does not consider DEI important. 2. There is a burden of representation on the one…
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Yeah, that’s what AI brings
Me: I need to cancel my order. StitchFix Chatbot: I’m sorry I didn’t understand that. You can ask: Order problems Delivery problems …. Me: Order problems Chatbot: I’m sorry I didn’t understand that. You can ask: Order problems Delivery problems …. Kaiser Chatbot: Me: I don’t understand why I can’t pay my bill Chatbot: I’m…