So last night really put me in a weird funk- what I had thought, and I might have been deceiving myself, was a fun sportsman-like game turned nasty and aggressive. Friend watched the match. We lost, which we’ve done before, and yet this time there was so much negative feeling amongst the team. Directed at me, directed at other people. It’s interesting to come from family stress then realize there is this weird sports-created stress too. I tried, and succeeded to a degree I think, to make it my “own game” and try not to get affected by the odd negative feelings floating around. Someone actually got hit by another person on the team and was winded, ended up having a bit of an emotional breakdown. The other team is a fun one too, it was just sheer competitiveness and bad teamlike behavior on our side.

I really wanted to ditch it but I think I’ll see it through and just try to keep playing my “own game”.