When I Got Old

F Market Inbound

Read this lovely post Lauren wrote, “I’m Officially Older,” and was inspired to do my own Birthday Wrap-up.

The Old Moment
First though, Lauren talks about the time that she felt like she was getting old- nobody asked about her age, for fear of offending her. I remember joking with girlfriends about our age and how we were “offended” about being asked, but we were just trying on that feeling. Like purses: I didn’t really officially use one until, um, 30. It just felt old to me and I didn’t recognize that having a fat wallet bursting out of your pocket, or a big cellphone creating a third hip, how that wasn’t so hot a look. So I left behind my punk roots and got a purse, then another, then a few, then I quickly drifted into the idea that it was… drumroll please… a fashion statement. I give my pink leather purse that distinction: the first time I truly cared what the purse looked like. I remember flying into SF with new purse (from Banana Republic) and joining friends at a bar on Polk St, and completely blowing off the guy I was dating – didn’t see him – as I was whirling about the bar with my New Pink Purse. He turned out to be a psycho anyways.

Another Old Moment
So at dinner last night with over-40 ex, he was talking about this couple next to us that were on a first date. Then, he compares the guy to his best friend (in 30s) and how that is him “in 10-15 years”. I look at the guy, who is a J Crew style grey and sandy-haired fellow.Ex now extrapolates and compares the J Crew guy to himself. I quip: “It’s more like you in 0-5 years.” I get my catty moments, true. So that problem of not seeing yourself in an age group because it’s, gasp, too old, that’s another Old Moment.

Third and Final Old Moment
When Lauren first mentioned it, though, I responded first that my Old Moment was when most of my friends were bitching about aches and pains. Random allergies that wouldn’t wrap up on schedule. Hangovers that drifted into longstanding sniffles. Curious illnesses that they went to various specialists for, and got medicine, but it would re-emerge. Unfortunately my parents, in their 70s, are in the stage where more and more of their peers are getting serious illnesses. It’s like this phase of my friends’ small illnesses is for us to prepare, like getting offended at being asked our age. We can playact that we’re going through a serious sickness, figure out what it feels like emotionally, etc. when in reality it’s just … a stuffy nose!