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1001st Job Interview Transcript (Note to Self: Study Hard and Get That Job!)
Welcome Mispronounced First and Last Name! Is this a good time to talk? I loved your resume and wondered if I could ask you a few questions? Then we’ll get into more details about the position. Hm, your resume says you were Head of the Engineering at Very Important Company. Is that true? That you…
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Thread found on my phone yesterday
Sup GOAT Nada GOAT Emerson bro answer Dad has my switch 🙁 When do u get it back? He says when he has a job. Dude my mom needs a job. she wont buy me bux either F*&(&*(&*( We need robux!! Keep it clean Im on my moms phone. I need 100k robux for that…
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Are you a rock star engineer?!?
Then we want you! Do you show up at work at 3PM? That’s right, roll on into work with jeans covered in the Burt Reynolds – yes – Cool-Aid and Jaeger. YUM! Do you approach code like a rock star? Do you write your own code in your own language (you made up), writing for…
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This Is Not A Life Event
Good morning, Kaiser. Can I get your social security number, address, and fingerprint to make sure I know who I’m talking to. Thank you. Now you are asking for new coverage. Oh, you had coverage, but you lost your job. Lucky for you this is a life event! Yes, we determine if you are experiencing…
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EDD Call From Hell
Thank you for calling the Unemployment Department of our Supreme Overlords, I am Styx. I’m here to determine your eligibility for unemployment claims and a Charon’s coin for trip to the afterlife. Let’s review your history. You contributed every paycheck for 40 years to a fund you’ve never seen the returns on, growing huge wealth…
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Announcing BroSphere’s First Diversity Chief!
I’m prepared for big changes here. Don’t tell anyone, but soon we’ll go IPO so we are prioritizing DEI as 10th in our priority list (finally!).
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BroCon
Hypothetical Talk at BroCon (Not actually BroCon, it was the recent Las Vegas ReactConf, and yes, I should have known 😃 Las Vegas + JavaScript. I did not give this, just an imagining) “How many of you are fathers?” I ask. Half the room raises their hands. “How many of you contribute to open source?”…