You enter into a dark cave. There are two choices: bright and shiny new tech diamond glistening in the offing promising speed of development, simplicity, and money for everyone. The other option is years of decaying code, written in Cobol, supported by the old guy in the corner. Or worse, staying the same.

Turn to page 2 if you want Bright & Shiny, turn to page 3 if you want Cobol.

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Page 2

You are transported to a conference where a young woman comes up to you and offers you a t-shirt, a sticker, and a steel insulated mug with Bright & Shiny logos on it. You take it, and return to your company. Your company responds by embracing all the swag joyfully. Or, they have moved onto another Bright and Shiny (the Next Coming) and you need to sit in Coursera tutorials for two weeks.

Turn to page 112 if they embraced the swag. Turn to page 15 if you are going to Coursera to learn the Next Coming.

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Page 15

You are sitting through long lessons in Coursera and also googling jobs and wondering if there is another Bright and Shiny v2, that will convince your colleagues of its real merits. You enter a subReddit and become entrenched in v2 losing all verbal speaking skills and replying in only Emojis and Giphys. Or, you ace the class and become a booth babe at a conference for The Next Coming Conf.

If you are verbally incontent, this is the end of the story.

Or, you are now a Next Coming Booth Babe! The cycle continues.