Week 1: Euphoria tinged with panic. (Free! And, how am I going to live in this expensive city with a kid and no income?)

Week 2: Face reality. (Cancel all the things. File for unemployment. Figure out medical insurance.)

Week 3: Disbelief (WTH is going on, has been taking a while, usually I have a few offers by now. I’m busy with interviews, something must stick! I keep meeting people who have been unemployed… for a year. And, they are amazing, like way more amazing than me.)

Week 4. Acceptance (Getting used to it a bit, waking up later. Making homemade lunches for son. Volunteer at school. They need me! I am valued!)

Week 5. Same (File for medicaid. Start expensive private medical insurance. It’ll be temporary!)

Week 6. Numbness (Finish Grey’s Anatomy. 20 seasons. Start memorizing Rubik’s Cube solution, a lifelong goal.)

Week 7. Face your timeline. (Decide to use expensive health insurance so go to all the doctors appointments I’ve avoided (for years…).

Week 8. Hope. (Finish certifications of the skill “everyone is hiring for.” Get into a conference on scholarship. Schmooze with dorks. Apply in person at 10 booths.)

Week 9. Dim reality (Absolutely no follow-up from conference.)

Week 11. Cast about. (Find validation elsewhere: finally finish memorizing Rubik’s cube. Feel huge sense of accomplishment)

Week 12. Numb to the Emotional Yo-Yo. (Burst of late game interviews! Final rounds. No offers. Rinse, repeat. Notice the hope/dashed-hope trend.)

Week 13. We Can’t Have Nice Things. (Go on offline vacation. Mid-interviews, but recruiters say “it’s OK.” Return home to “the job has been filled.” Note to self: NEVER TAKE ANOTHER VACATION.)

Week 20. Mini Drama Stops Heart (Medical insurance inexplicably stops. Frustration at bureaucracy and the state in general, mini-breakdown. Visualize getting insurance again. Manifest it. Meditate it. Finally get it. I now believe in manifestations.)

Week 22. New ability to accept things. (Realize unemployment will run out. Volunteer as school secretary. How much does this pay?)
Week 23. Recalibration. (Should I just retire? Or take a “late stage” job. The census like my Dad did? Post office? Public school teacher?)

Week 24. Sarcasm. I don’t understand why people “fine dine.” 10th evening of homemade burritos. I now reply to friends, when they ask “How is the jobhunt” with “Amazing!” Sarcasm mixed with reality. Realize I am finally over my toxic workplace.

Week 25. Chagrin. Finally get free health insurance, cancel expensive private insurance. California can you now pay me the 10k I spent in private insurance?,/p>