Author: banane

  • My Life As Interpreted By 1980s Soap Operas

    My Life As Interpreted By 1980s Soap Operas

    Our kitchen wall phone rings, I pick it up and a single teardrop falls down my face. Putting on a brave expression, I crouch down next to an adorable, if overly pretty child and tell him that “Mommy lost her job.”. I walk my son out the lightweight plywood door with a ripped paper bag,…

  • The Serious Side of DEI Satire

    The Serious Side of DEI Satire

    I wrote a satirical piece on a really bad Diversity Chief hire. Let me highlight what she *should* have done. Including 10 must-haves for diverse engineering teams. 1. DEI executives don’t make sense and cannot be effective if the leadership does not consider DEI important. 2. There is a burden of representation on the one…

  • Yeah, that’s what AI brings

    Yeah, that’s what AI brings

    Me: I need to cancel my order. StitchFix Chatbot: I’m sorry I didn’t understand that. You can ask: Order problems Delivery problems …. Me: Order problems Chatbot: I’m sorry I didn’t understand that. You can ask: Order problems Delivery problems …. Kaiser Chatbot: Me: I don’t understand why I can’t pay my bill Chatbot: I’m…

  • Morning Routine

    Morning Routine

    Ladies, I’m struggling with work-life balance at work with two little ones, please send me your routines! I wake at 8 AM, feed my kids and get them to school. Then I have coffee and breakfast, my “me time!” and start work. I wake at 7 AM, get the kids up and feed/bathe, drive to…

  • My Feminist Radicalization at Reed College

    My Feminist Radicalization at Reed College

    I was radicalized as a feminist not from my mother who started her business in (what was supposed to be) my first ever bedroom, nor from my three over-accomplished older sisters, but due to my freshman year at Reed College in 1990. I befriended a senior who *saw* me, like really saw me. Don’t hate…

  • He is busy

    He is busy

    No, he cannot talk now, he is busy. He is working. No, he cannot attend the monthly meeting of his teachers and fellow parents, where we find out if the school is closing because he is busy. No he can’t take a lunch break and meet his kid to walk him to after care because…

  • Gendered Language as a Software Engineer

    Gendered Language as a Software Engineer

    Imagine a (highly generalized) pair programming situation where two engineers, a man and a woman, are talking about specific subjects: When pairing partner makes a mistake Men: That’s not right, I’ll show you. Women: I do it a slightly different way. (explains it) Talking about achievements Men: I wrote the best ruby router gem. Women:…

  • Choose Your Adventure: Bright & Shiny Technical Adoption Cycles

    Choose Your Adventure: Bright & Shiny Technical Adoption Cycles

    You enter into a dark cave. There are two choices: bright and shiny new tech diamond glistening in the offing promising speed of development, simplicity, and money for everyone. The other option is years of decaying code, written in Cobol, supported by the old guy in the corner. Or worse, staying the same. Turn to…

  • Another thread on my phone (part 2)

    Drip sup thats cap bro Emerson get on your switch No mic on switch. I need a PC!!!!! Yeah switch is for babies you’re a baby why cant u get a PC Dad says he needs $$ for it. didnt have a job for so long what do they do when they need money? go…

  • 1001st Job Interview Transcript (Note to Self: Study Hard and Get That Job!)

    1001st Job Interview Transcript (Note to Self: Study Hard and Get That Job!)

    Welcome Mispronounced First and Last Name! Is this a good time to talk? I loved your resume and wondered if I could ask you a few questions? Then we’ll get into more details about the position. Hm, your resume says you were Head of the Engineering at Very Important Company. Is that true? That you…